Love - 1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

This above is from 1 Corinthians 13 , it's always read in people's wedding and I love this scripture.

Frustration

A lots of people are saying we are the perfect couple and the couple that would stay forever. That is what I wished and I believed. But in recent years, our marriage is like a rock on the edge of cliff. Any Small stuff can push that rock out of sight. I have been trying to comprise our conflicts/disagreement, and avoid fight , especially in front of Thomas. But his mood is just like a roller coaster. You don't know what you expect. His temper is getting worse. I've been trying to protect Thomas whenever he is in bad mood, but it seems he is doing it intentionally. I've been very patient and tolerant with his behavior. Thomas is such a sensitive boy and I can not stand to see him get hurt. One time I promised to God - I would never fight with him in front of Thomas. But he knows my 'weakness'. The more I keep patient and tolerant, the more he pushes. What happened last nigh really push me to the limit and made me think differently. This marriage would not do any good for Thomas. Irony all my friends around me think I am a good communicator, but i can not communicate with my own husband. All he done made me speechless and hopeless. I desperately asked God so many times to help me and give me strength and wisdom to hold on this marriage. I've been trying so hard, but marriage is not about one person , it's about two people. I am really tired. Maybe it's time to let it go...

1st Loose Tooth

One of Thomas' tooth (middle in the bottom)is loose and he told me yesterday and I looked at his tooth and it looks almost fell off. That's too earlier - i think. But He got his teething very earlier at 4 month old. He is very excited about it because he thought he could have tooth fairy.

Washing Dishes

Thomas insisted doing dishes for the last several day after dinner. Last night when his dad started to put dishes into dishwasher, he was dying to do it. So I told him " Daddy will leave one for you to wash it later." After daddy had done, I let him stand on a chair so he could reach the sink to do his own dish. It took him more than 10 min. to clean that little bowl he used. And he was so focus on washing his bowl. I was teasing him "You are so helpful to mom and dad. " And he was buying it and I could tell he was so proud of himself to do it. I wish he could keep doing this when he is a little bigger which I doubt it. He did that because he just wanted to be like his daddy.

Simplicity of Life

Thomas told me this morning “I watched the cloud in the sky for a long time and I saw forest. “ I asked “how did you learn that?” He replied “in chapel time at school, Mrs. Porter read us a book saying’ if you watch cloud for a long time, you can see different shapes.’ One time I saw an airplane. “I laughed and then I told him “I liked watching cloud when I was your age too and it’s a lots of fun. “ He always fascinated with what mom and dad did when we were his age. I was glad that teacher taught about that. One time I heard a priest saying ‘you have to teach your child how to enjoy the simplicity of life’. I totally agree with it. Now the whole world seems so focus on material things. There were so many temptations which drag us away from nature and each other. When I was little I didn’t remember I had any toys, but I consider myself had a happy childhood. Whenever it was snowing, I could lie in the bed and stare at windows for hours because ice/snow made beautiful scene on the windows. Using your imagination, you could see lots of different animals or flowers. Sometimes grandma told me stories.

I really like Thomas learn to enjoy the simplicity of life. You don’t have to be rich or so called ‘successful’, but if you know how to enjoy every piece of your life God created for you, then happiness would never end.

A Blessing

I always think I am blessed by this job. Back then along this offer I got another one from Verizon. I didn't know which one I should take. So I prayed and talked to one of my friends, and finally I took my current job mostly because this company was closer to home and less work to do. At very beginning I was not sure this was the place I wanted to be. Didn't really feel good of it. Somehow I chose to stay. The longer I stayed , the more I feel I made the right decision. One time I heard a friend saying the definition of good jobs - good pay, close to home, and less work. I thought about that, it's just too good to be true. But for me I can't get anything better than this. - It's a perfect job for me. I am not that greedy and don't compare with other people. I always feel happy at work.

Recently there was one thing bothered me a little bit. One of colleagues , she quited her job because of another colleague. She was pretty good at her job and I admired her a lot not only the way she was doing her job but also the way she treated people and I had great trust on her. Then one day she was in great fought via emails with this colleague. She filed a complaint against him and asked me to support her because she thought what he did to her was discrimination against female at work and me and her were the only females in the dept. I know that colleague sometime do not get along with people but he is not bad person, sometime just confronted like my other colleagues said. Then things were getting a little complicated and she really put me in hot spot. The day she quited I was so upset because she made me feel guilty about it. I think I did right thing - I just told the truth. I can not accuse other people by feelings.

I still care about her a lot and wish her the best. Also I learned a lesson - don't let other people take advantage of your kindness. - I was so kind to her and she thought I'd do what she asked me to do.

Dumb vs. Genius

At a B/day party the other day Thomas was trying to put a lady bug into a small empty water bottle along with grass and then tightened the cap. A big kid saw it and said it was dumb. And then for the rest of that day Thomas kept using that word as as often as he could. We told him nobody would like to hear it then he said to himself 'dumb'.

The second day we dropped him in a friend's house for a couple of hours, the friend tried to entertain him by doing some fun calculations. Every time he got right and the friend said to him "you are a genius".

Last night just after I got home, he ran to me and asked me a question with a very serious look. "Mom, Am I a genius ? A genius means his brain is bright. " My word 'No' was just about to come out then I looked at his face. I told to him "Nobody is a genius, you can be bright but you are not a genius. " I just don't want to get him wrong idea. He seems try to doing everything perfectly and he is frustrated whenever he think he should do things better. Then he asked me if God was a genius. I told him "Yes, God knows everything".

Recently he is very interested in learning a lots of vocabularies and asked me a lots of questions regarding meanings of different words. Hopefully I can give him the best answer.