Meet With Issac

Tonight Thomas met with Issac at dinner and they both were so excited to see each other.

Isaac's mom got star war transformers for both of them. Thomas loves transformers. They played transformers with each other all night and didn't eat much. Isaac grows strong and taller. They finally bought a house in Colorado and tomorrow everything will be moved to Denver.

Thomas also has kept a toy which Isaac left at school when he left for Denver in April. Today he brought it to him. - I thought it's so sweet and nice thing to do.

Isaac didn't want to go when it's time to go. Finally they hugged each other when we said good bye to each others and we promised to Isaac to visit them some time in the future.

On the way going back home Thomas told me that he had really good time with Isaac.

Kindergarten This Fall

Today we got class list posted and Thomas will be in Mrs. Moody's Kindergarten class with Sean from last year's class. All his buddies, Christian,Luke, Hunter, Conner will be in Mrs. William's K-Prep class. Jet is going to public school and Issac left for Colorado.

Thomas will miss his buddies because he told me he wanted to go K-Prep with his buddies and I told him that he was going to skip K-Prep and be in Kindergarten this coming school year. I guess he should be OK. Sean is one of his buddies. Hope he enjoy Mrs. Moody's class. She is young and new to Prince of Peace.

I am so excited. I can not wait to see Thomas walking in the classroom this fall.

Nostalgia

For me homesick doesn't have to be longing for home land. Sometime it can be expressed in different ways.

I may think about certain foods from hometown and no matter how hard I tried to make it just like before, I still felt it's not good enough. I realized the fact recent years that it's not food itself, it is something inside your mind. - something that you never can get back from the past.

Occasionally I was looking for the opportunities to read Chinese books or watch Chinese TV serials, it's not about the content I like, sometime I do not remember what it is about. It's the feeling really caught on me when I read it or watched it. This is another way to express my homesick.

Good News For Thomas

Got an email from Isaac’s mom this morning they’re in the town to move and leave on Wednesday. And Isaac would like have dinner with Thomas tonight or tomorrow night. Still feel recuperating from the weekend so we decided to go tomorrow night. Haven’t told Thomas yet, he would be so excited when he knows Isaac is in the town.

Oh, Boy !

Thomas has been naughty in the school this week. He with other boys played a fighting game at school and first day he got 4 times timeout. Second day when his dad asked him how many times he got timeout, he replied "only once", the third day his dad asked him if he fought with boys he replied "can not remember it " and then his dad asked him how many times he got timeout and he said to his dad " I won't tell you".

书架的联想

近期给自己买了一个很大的书架。终于可以把自己的书刊全部放在一起了。这让我想起了出国前在国内家中所收藏积累的书籍和录音磁带。

那时特别喜欢读书，买书，听歌。不像现在，买的书没时间看，那时每一书都读得很认真。也喜欢那些独处看书，听歌，苦思冥想的日子。一贯读的书很杂，有些一时想不起来了，但看到书名或作者的名，或许记得。三毛，张爱玲，北岛，刘再复，李泽厚，远志明，王朔的都有。特别喜欢刘再复的文学评论和散文。曾很用心的手抄过他整本的散文。也读过不少西方的，印象最深的数“约翰克里斯多夫" 和“忏悔录”。不敢说完全读懂，但从中产生了很多的共鸣。为此那时对人生也产生了更多的迷茫。

出国前在自己的住处--那时很幸运，家里有一套一室一厅的住处。本来是哥嫂的，但他们不愿离开我父母，一直空闲。我回津后，千方百计得到父母的许可搬了进去。自己办置了一套当时不错的家具，包括两个高高的书架。把我多年积累的书刊及磁带放满了两个书柜。那个住所也是我出国前经常和朋友们聚集的小天地。

出国时有点像离家出走。没有像很多同龄人的欣喜入狂，更多的是失落和悲凉。临行前只带了一个很小的旅行箱。不知未来如何，只知要和过去一刀两段。所以毅然“抛弃”了那两个书架中的一切。后来那套住所被弟卖掉了。书也给了妙远。她曾说很喜欢。也不知她还留有多少。最近突然有点儿“想念”我的那些“宝贝”了。

Growning Pain For Parents

Last night after putting Thomas in the bed, his dad said he missed those days which Thomas slept in our bed. He asked me if Thomas could come back and sleep with us again. I said no. Before sometime we spent too much time in the bed before he actually fell asleep. And it made me exhausted all the time and didn't get anything done for myself.

Even I have to wake up several times to walk him back his own room during night, but I feel more comfortable to let him sleep in his room now. I feel I have myself back a little bit and give him space to grow up too. Actually Thomas never refuses to go to his own bed since we put him in his room, he is so happy to sleep in his new bed, just needs some time to adjust.

I told his dad Thomas would leave soon or later and you have to accept the fact and get used to it. Now I can imagine he would have hard time to adjust by the time Thomas leaves for college. I would too but I would be more than happy to see Thomas grow up and live on his life.

Milestone

His dad took Thomas to see the dentist the other day and He got two permanent teeth coming out on the bottom , 3 molars coming out in the back, and we were told that within 6 months two of his upper teeth will be coming out.

That was really surprised me. Thomas always enjoys seeing dentist. And he was so excited after he came back. He told me that dentist told him he could use Humans' toothpaste - I was laughing at about that. He replied to me seriously "mom, for real, i can use humans' toothpaste". He always thinks only adults are humans, kids are not, I explained to him several times but he still thinks he is not 'human'.

Role Model

Thomas put one of his dad's pictures in the nightstand beside his bed after moving his own room. He put that picture where he sleeps.

His dad thinks that's really cute, i think it too, but moreover he is really copying lots things his dad does, boys like his age really look upon dads as his role model. He loves to dress up like his dad at home. Recently he put gel on his hair every morning because he has seen his dad does that in the morning.

Being parents is not easy, you have to behave yourself , there always has someone looks upon you and admire you maybe and does whatever you do.

Picky Kid

Thomas is so picky at some points. On the daily basis he could really give mom and dad hard times.

He started to be picky on his clothing at age of two. He never wears any T-shirt without sleeves outside home after he turned 3. Now he picks his outfit every morning with my permission.

He refuses to wear anything that has stripes or squares pattern on it. I thought he looked handsome and cute on those shorts which have stripes and squares pattern on it, but he thought those were so girlish.

Also he hates to wear any shirts with collar , maybe it because the school he attended before was Montessori school which required even little kids as young as 3 year old to wear uniform.-that's one of the reasons I don't like Montessori.

He will be in the Kindergarten this August, he will be required to wear uniform and hopefully he would like it because he always told me that he was proud of being in Prince of Peace Christian School.

He also is a picky eater. Whenever there is new food or food with new look on the dinner table. He would refuse to eat it at first. But he loves vegetables and fresh fruits.

Where does this come from ? - sometime his dad asks that question. I guess it comes from a little bit of both of us, who else you can blame ?

诗人席慕蓉

所有的结局都已写好
所有的泪水也都已启程
却忽然忘了是怎么样的一个开始
在那个古老的不再回来的夏日

无论我如何地去追索
年轻的你只如云影掠过
而你微笑的面容极浅极淡
逐渐隐没在日落后的群岚

遂翻开那发黄的扉页
命运将它装订得极为拙劣
含著泪我一读再读却不得不承认
青春是一本太仓促的书


我好像答应过你
要和你一起
走上那条美丽的山路

你说那坡上种满了新茶
还有细密的相思树
我好像答应过你
在一个遥远的春日下午

……

在那条山路上
少年的你
是不是还在等我
还在急切地向来处张望

其实我盼望的
也不过就只是那一瞬
我从没要求过你给我
你的一生

如果能在开满了栀子花的山坡上
与你相遇
如果能深深地爱过一次
再别离
那么再长久的一生
不也就只是
回首时那短短的一瞬

Just happened to see those poems today and those are the favorite ones when I was in the college. I got lots of her poem collections. But I didn't bring them here when I left home a long time ago, suddenly I realized that those beautiful poems are still in my mind , never slipped away...

The Age When Boys 'Hate' Girls

Thomas got a birthday invitation card from a girl named Isabella in the school. I asked him if he would like to go and he said no. And he told me he hated girls birthday party. I explained that was not nice and people should appreciated that if someone invited you to a party.

Well, I guess, at his age, boys always play with boys. Thomas would play with girls if no boy was there but he seems never fight with girls like he did with boys. Boys often competed with each other when they play together. Thomas even competes with his dad at home sometime. Boys are always boys.

Last Saturday after he moved in his own room and I told him he could have his friends sleep over when he grows bigger in the future and he told me that he won't let girls see his room. We both laughed at him, his dad said someday you would love to stay with girls.

Friend

Thomas seems have good sense of friendship. Last Saturday Joshua came to our house playing with Thomas and they were wild at some point but they are good friends and had fun together.

Every Sunday morning before we go to church Thomas always asks me if Joshua goes. They are in the same class in the Sunday school.

After Sunday school Joshua asked his mom if he could stay with Thomas forever. Thomas told me he wanted Joshua be his brother, I replied " good friends are just like brothers" He also convinced to me " Peyton and Kevin from school they are brothers , but they don't live in the same house " I said " that's true, good friends can be brothers. "

Saturday night he suddenly mentioned Issac - " I miss Issac very much" , I said "I understand, maybe his mom will contact to us after they are settled down in Colorado ". Thomas and Issac were in the same class and played and fought all the time since he was 3 year old and Issac recently moved to Denver area and Thomas got two postcards from Issac and haven't heard them since then . I guess they haven't really got permanent house yet, his mom travels a lot internationally for her new job.

Sleeping By Himself

Thomas moved to his own room to sleep since last Saturday. First night he woke up 4 times and went back our room to look for me. Second night he woke up twice to look for me. For the last two days I just walked him back his room and helped him to go back sleep whenever he walked in our room in the middle of night.

Tonight it's 3rd night, I praised him a lot before he went to bed. After turning off the light he told me that he was imagining in my bed and sleeping. I said that's good idea - imagine that you could fall asleep fast. He told me last night he had dream about walking on the broken bridge and fell on the bed.

Last night I looked tired when I was watching him sleeping, Thomas told me " mom , you can sleep in my bed here if you are tired", I told him " I'm OK, this bed is only special for you." He is adorable, he is very caring kid.

I know this is big change for him, but he seems looking forward to this change. He was so excited about his new room, bed, and furniture. He helped us to decorate his room, put all his own stuff in his room, let us take some pictures when he laid on his bed. He was so excited about drawing some pictures on his new desk. Last night he drew a picture about transformers to his dad and tonight he drew a picture about beach,flowers to me. Those are beautiful.

One of decoration his dad put on his wall was gift from his cousin (my niece - Miaoyuan) last year in China. It took more than a month to for my niece to finish that picture - used needle to sew fish on the cloth. It was blue and yellow fish. It's beautiful design and Thomas saw that and he asked Miaoyuan if he could bring it back Dallas home. Then MiaoYuan went out to frame it beautifully and gave it to him. Last night when we asked him what that picture came from , he simply answered " it came from my Chinese sister ".

Learning new words

Kid like Thomas' age learns new vocabularies every day, one day he asked me what's mean by 'ignore', and i explained to him, then on the weekend, one of his friends ,Joshua sited next to him in the car and I put CD on and Joshua said he didn't like the music I put on and Thomas talked to his friend "just ignore the music" and Joshua asked 'what's mean by ignore', Thomas replied " Pretending you didn't see or hear it."

I guess you don't have to teach kids in a formal way all the time, you can teach them by doing your normal routine work and teach them life experience. Sometime I feel Thomas is so rebellious and always does things in opposite way it should be. But soon or later, you can tell he still listen it.

一段难忘的日子

晓芳今晚从北京打电话来，十几年没见面了，一下就听出是她。

用她一贯的调侃的口气，第一句话是这样问我：“听说你如今是斗志全无，是不是啊？“， 我问“谁说的？”， “你弟啊”，真想不到她居然找到弟的电话。我们一起笑了起来。之后我问她“看来你仍然斗志不减当年”，她说“被逼无奈”，她又问“相信上帝了？”我答“是啊，你哪？“，她答”周围的人都信，我还没动力“， 她如今自己开公司，经常和老外做生意。

我，晓芳和靳学平曾在天津一起的同事。当时我们曾为我们的理想‘斗志’昂扬。愤世纪俗。我和晓芳那时开始准备出国。她的语言能力非常强，当时单位进口的德国设备，我们三人一起翻译资料，德国人来调试机器，晓芳是英语口语翻译，她人聪明，有思想。不是美女但气质高雅。我和小靳常调侃说她是‘生错地儿’。也许是基因的缘故，她母亲学俄语出身。叔叔学德语，一直驻德国作外交官。为此她自学德语，据说水平很高，准备去德留学，不幸的是几次拒签。记得最后一次签证之前她约我一起去友谊宾馆找她叔叔的德国朋友写了一封信给德国使馆，但仍是相同结论 - 移民顷象。

我们在单位的时，干完分派的活，下午三人常常溜到晓芳的单身宿舍侃山，睡大觉直到下班，头经常找不到我们，但也没办法-我们从不耽搁手里的活儿，下班后常座起士林，唱卡拉Ok,晓芳是很迷人的女中音，她最喜欢的是 ‘橄榄树’；学平是美妙的民族唱法，‘阿里山的姑娘’我至今还记忆犹新，吃宵夜，到外院看原版电影 - 确实有点儿疯，但我父母并没有反对，因为晓芳他们都了解，知道她进取。也许爸妈太信任我们了，其实我们也作了些荒唐事。

小靳是学自动化的，当初曾在海南干过2年。她人很漂亮，心灵手巧，她是个水平极高的服装设计师，从设计。裁剪，到缝纫，她全能，她和她家人的衣服全是她做的。她喜欢做，我们在一起的时，她给我和晓芳做了很多漂亮时尚的衣服，但晓芳还有点保守不太敢穿，可我不怕，喜欢独出心裁的服装，所以小靳更喜欢给我做，她给我裁的衣服大多数是在我们两人儿的单位更衣室完成的。记得她曾给我做的一件花色漂亮得夏季晚装，我在‘起士林’穿过多次，也出过不少风头。想想也是，谁不爱美哪？如今依然爱穿漂亮时尚的衣服。

那时我们真的一起快乐过，疯过。。。

无题

在教会教了一个月的学前班，特别想听牧师的慕道和唱诗的时刻。。。之后看了一篇关于孙中山的文章。

他是一个虔诚的基督徒，自幼向往真理。17岁在檀香山归信基督，并愿受洗，但遭家中反对，辍学返国。18岁在香港受洗，20岁萌救国大计。后来他的很多政治理难都来自基督教义。

1924年他在中国基督教教育会中致词，说：“教会之入中国，既开辟中国之风气，启发人民之思想，使中国人能摆脱异族之束缚，正如摩西领以色列人出埃及（40年至迦南美地）。。。领中国至迦南乳密之地者，除中国基督教会，还有谁?"

1925年他对家人和挚友的临终遗嘱也是一个基督徒的遗嘱。

信靠基督的国民博爱，善良，平和，进取。宽容，国家民主，自由，繁荣富强。我们真的需要神，需要基督的思想。

博爱

朋友平找我要妙远在北大的联系方式。平的同事家的老二在弗杰尼亚的一所私立大学念大四。今秋要去北大读中文。平说有个朋友在北大可以照应。平的同事是个虔诚的基督徒，自己有4个小孩。后来在中国收养了3个中国努孩儿。分别是12岁，7岁，5岁，最近又要收养一个更小的中国努孩儿。

周围这样的老美并不少，很是从心底佩服。也为这些中国的弃儿们感到欣慰，平的同事却说这些孩子是神给他们的恩赐。这不光是金钱，更多的是爱心，耐心，和奉献。我想这种博大的爱唯有来自神，而不是来自人类狭隘的以血原来划分的爱。是来自信靠天父的忠实信徒，相信神是爱我们的，我们也要爱人如己。我们的一切都是神掌管的，一切也是为荣耀神而作的。教育自己的孩子体会到有多难，只有靠神给的智慧，才有这样的胆量去培养8个孩子。

老公说他做不到，我相信。在这里富足殷实的来自中国的基督徒中有多少会收养中国的弃儿哪？儿子3岁的时曾想过领养一个中国的努孩儿，但这想法被老公扼杀了。那时很想要个努儿，又可以给儿子找个妹妹，同时又作了一件好事。但老公不同意，只好作罢。想想也许更多的出于私心，神给我的旨意不在此吧。

大学时代

今年是我们毕业20周年。我们班奇闻异事曾是京工的一景。我班人才集聚，个性鲜明，校舞蹈队，乐队，广播站，棋艺社，文学社都有我班的成员。大多数人对学业热衷不足，社团活动投入有余。人称美女众多，才子聚积，但却没有才子佳人的缘分。刘威说：年轻时我们不懂爱情。我想不仅如此吧，但每人都有一段难忘的四年。

刘忠义：人像名一样，非常重义气， 曾和我搭档3年，他是支书，我是班长。有点玩世不恭。他可能是最了解我的人之一吧。说我象‘热水瓶’外冷内热。现依然是个官-某火箭厂长。挺重同学情义，每次我回京津，都必远程赶来。

徐红征：我大学最好的知己。高干子弟，却无霸气和傲气。个性很强，文笔精彩，懂得如何享受人生快乐。成熟又不失童真，是我知道得最有思想，智慧的girl. 我俩上下床，经常一起睡懒觉。是和男朋友一起从昆明考进我校的，当时新生向他们成双出入是各新闻，曾被人跟踪到我们101室。现在珠海，依然过者两人世界。生活富足但绝不为钱迷惑。去年曾辞掉人人羡慕的总经理，只想过自己想过的生活。热衷于慈善活动。

涂丹：曾是我的灵魂知己。出自书香门第。父母是大学教师。漂亮。聪明。活波，很爱唱歌，曾是我班的文艺委员。美女之一。处世过于单纯，过于看重别人对自己的评价，时常被谣言中伤。大家公认的最不安份的一个，却是少数几个作专业之一。

杨帆：国家安全局一局级，可能是我班目前最大的官儿了。当年沂蒙山的状元。我班的第一任学习委员。绰号‘将军’。虽长在山区，却是有大将风度。当年的安全局名额，很多人不愿去的地方，却施展了他的才能。

黎政先：西安人。我班的第一任班长，俗称‘黎头’，才子之一。谈不上英俊但很潇洒。很讨异性喜欢的那种。但绝不是为爱而活的人。校舞蹈队的成员，曾和我班的李璐，林柯一起演出‘金梭和银梭’而闻名全校。85级电子系的一哈尔滨的姑娘曾为他每天在校图书馆占座位。在他2年后也去了西安，之后同去日本，也是在那里俩人分到杨标。黎头后回深圳发展。现在上海施展。也是潇洒的两人世界。

刘威：在校时交往不多，是个眉清目秀，话不多但很有心智的男生。着急的时说话有口吃。可现今是北京某单位的总设计师经常讲演。同学聚会经常语出惊人，揭发了不少当年男生宿舍的‘秘密’。上次回津京，是他开车接送我和同学往返两地。很是周到细致。看得出在家是个体贴的好丈夫。

高阔叶：江苏人，却有北方人的豪情。能吹一口优美的竹笛。写一手漂亮得隶书。因我也是隶书的爱好者，曾与他切磋技艺。言语激进，丰芒闭露。善于仕途。感情炙热，执著。曾是我班的书记，后升为系学生会主席。很讲哥们儿义气。是男生的头。大二时对我一往情深。可我心有属，对他只是哥哥般的亲情。但他从未放弃，从此我俩成为‘冤家’。彼此间无意的伤害是让我想进早离开校园的原因之一。为此他也付出了代价-他留校的名额让给了别人，而回到南京。至今是我班‘失踪’4人之一。

---待续。

雨

特别喜欢下雨的日子。无论是倾盆大雨，还是绵绵细雨

记得小学和初中，赶上雨的日子，定会和同伴儿一起在雨中狂奔和戏耍，有时会把嘴张的大大的，任凭雨水的打落和浇灌。。。妈说我是疯子，爸说我心太野 - 也许像他吧，我一直是爸的宠儿。

也许对自然有种特殊的感悟，从来不害怕独行在嘿暗的夜晚。也无比想往万籁寂静的时空，记得在佛州时曾走过一片寂静连海的森林，和朋友说这是我想往的隐居地。

德州罕见的夏季雨天让我感到温馨，快乐！

July 4th

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be living here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.

Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.
That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xO-oLgvIubU&mode=related&search=

包粽子

Every year 5/5 in Chinese calendar is Dragon-boat festival, we celebrate it by making ''zong zi'. This year I haven't made 'zong zi' until today. Thomas loves it every time I made it. He even helped me to make it today. I told him that 'zong zi' was also my favorite food.

I still remember I was watching my grandma make it every year when I was young. Sometime I helped her by setting up things. After she passed away we bought 'zong zi' from supermarket since my mom didn't know how to make it. I never thought about trying to do it until I was in the state. First Dragon-boat festival in the state I found that 'zong zi' was very expensive comparing what I earned that time so with my roommate's help I decided to make it by ourselves. I was surprised that it tasted so good. I've made 'zong zi' every year since then.

Last time I told my sister-in-law that I made 'zong zi' and shared them with friends around me and she was surprised and she told me that she didn't know how to do it neither. She is a very good cook. Every time I visited hometown I always enjoy her cook so much and didn't want to go out eating.

I guess it's not hard to make 'zong zi' as long as you try it. It doesn't take me much time to make it. Preparing things does take a while though.

I enjoy making 'zong zi' because lots of friends love it.

Celebration In Mud

For the last several years, we have this local celebration of July 4th outdoor concert held in South Fork Ranch nearby our area. It's great activity for whole family and lots of famous Christian Singers were on the stage.

Last year we went there with another family from our church members and we all had good time and we planed to go there again this year. So we persuaded our group leader and instead of going pot luck as planed we all went to concert.

We drove there and this year you had to park 2 mile away from the ranch and walked all the way from parking lot to the stage because it's so crowded. The good things was that all kids age between 4 to 6 years old didn't complaint and walked all the time. When we're there, we realized that we were walking in the mud because the rain was heavy. We saw lots of teenagers who whole bodies were full of mud. - they must have fun over there.

By the time we were on the scenes, there were air-diving show going on and kids were thrilled. Just the show was about to be over, the rain was pouring again, it was really heavy and we had to stay inside tent. Then dads had to walk back 2 mile again and drove the car to pick up the kids. The funny thing was that we asked the kids if they would like walking in the mud they all said no but they used to like playing in the mud.

Finally we all laughed even we didn't really stayed there for the concert, the concert actually went on after rain until midnight and we just listened from radio and we decided to give ourselves a 'reward' after that - went to restaurant to have a nice dinner together and Thomas never ate that much because he was so hungry after 2 miles walk, plus half mile walking in the mud.

One of friends called me today and we both laughed and hope nobody wouldn't blame us because it was our idea to go out on Saturday. Now we're planing to go out on July 4th together and we even made an alternative plan if it rains again.

Cute Talk

Thomas always asks me to tell him stories about my dad.

This morning he wanted me to read one of them I wrote before. And after I read him twice he told me that we should go back 'the old farm'-that's what he called my father's hometown and found my dad in the gravel.

At the end he told me that it could be scary because it's only skeleton of my dad. I was surprised at first when I heard that and then I could not help laughing. I knew he was trying to make me happy. Sometime he has wild imagination. But I told him that we wouldn't want to bother him and let him lying there in peace.