Mom And Her Mother-In-Law

Mom treated my grandmother very kind and respect. My grandmother was a tough lady to deal with. She was smart and outgoing person and got around everything she needed and sometime manipulated people a lot. I didn't see her as a bad person , just the way everybody was raised that way, especially when a woman became a mother-ln-law at that time. Grandparents from my dad's side lived with us all their life. I actually was very close to my grandmother, she took care of me and my older brother since we were born. Me and my older brother were never sent to the daycare when we were little because of grandmother was at home.

Two brothers and me plus my grandparents, there were 7 in our family, at that time it's not that big, but our cousins and my aunt and uncle (my dad's siblings) always stayed in our house from time to time. I always felt that it's so crowed at home. Of cause things would get complicated and my grandmother always made my mother looked bad without losing her own dignity - that's why I said my grandmother was smart. She didn't say any bad words about my mom, but at the end of it, it's all my mother's fault. Most of the time, it turned out my dad would argue with my mom. I never heard my mom complained about anybody and she just did what she had to do, of cause I saw my mom sob a lot that time. About the time when I was in junior high school, I started to realize how bad situation my mom was and I didn't understand why she didn't say anything to my grandmother. Then I started to speak up for my mom, a lots of time my grandma got angry with me. I felt my mom did so much and nobody appreciated that, especially the relatives. For a long time I hated relatives coming to our home so I made troubles and whined a lot and hoped they were leaving soon. Of cause I became the bad person to the relatives in the family for a long time. I fought with my uncle and aunt a lot times because I thought they mistreated my mom. At that time, it took me a lots of courage to do that, in my family, no kid could ever fight with adult, that's considered as disgrace and a shame. I actually was afraid when I did it, but I just couldn't stand it anymore.

At the second year of my high school, my grandmother was sick, she couldn't walk anymore until she died on my last year of college, it's been almost 6 years that she mostly lay in the bed. That's not easy for anybody, but she took it very good, very optimistic for all those 6 years, joking around whenever people coming to visit her. All those 6 years, my mother took very good care of her, relatives and neighbors were impressed by my mom. Because of that, our family was nominated to a happy family ( it's called 五好家庭） in the city by our neighbor which we didn't know it until it was announced. That time we didn't have washer or dryer at home, my mom washed my grandmother stuff by her hands, took her a bath and changed clothes daily. Me and my older brother were away home in the school and my dad worked so hard and she was the only one to take care of her. One day my mom's right thumb couldn't move anymore and her knee got injured also because she had to move my grandmother a lot. That really worried us a lot. So later on even financially not very good, still we all insisted my parents to hire a nanny to help mom to take care of my grandmother. One day like a miracle, my grandmother was so touched by my mom and said to me :" your mom is so kind to me and she is the best daughter-in-law i can get. " with tears in her eyes and joy on her face. At that moment it's one of the happiest moment I could remembered since I was little. I was happy for my mom also for our family because mom and grandma were the most loving one for me. I liked to see they both got along each other and loved each other.

I still remembered my mom grieved a lot after my grandmother passed away. She always told me about good things my grandmother did and how charm my grandmother was. I really admire her about that. Later on when I asked my mom ' did you ever hate my grandmother ? ', she told me 'no', I asked 'why', she said she always appreciated grandmother take care of her children - me and my brothers, otherwise she could not finish her college degree in her spare time. She said my grandmother supported her greatly to finish her school. - that's very rare at that time - my mom told me that.